Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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