why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
