Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
