i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
