wrigley field is MILF paradise
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
