well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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