Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He kissed a someone with a penis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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