that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
