guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
