im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
