Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
