I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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