Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize