Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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