We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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