Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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