Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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