i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
