There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
