you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
