what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
