you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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