I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We're too hungover to prance.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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