That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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