I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
