What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
