He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
