I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You took a bar mat shot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
