By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
