I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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