Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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