Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you didnt know i had herpes?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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