but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize