Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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