If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
