I looked at my own cervix.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
