bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
