Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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