How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
