are you still at the devil's house?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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