At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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