all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
