You're earring is so big in my mouth
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
