There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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