i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
