FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
