Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
