Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize