I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
