i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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