did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
