With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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