Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
