I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
