i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
