We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
