After last night, I could never be a politician.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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