new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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