dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
