Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
