I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
