But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
