you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize